Oh, how the lords of finance love to play their sinister games! The UK Financial Conduct Authority (FCA), the supposed “protector of consumers,” has decided to lift its ban on retail access to cryptocurrency exchange-traded notes (ETNs). Yet, they're still keeping the ban on crypto derivatives in place. What's that sweet aroma? Ah yes, the stench of hypocrisy and manipulation.

Let's get one thing clear: this is not some magnanimous gesture to empower the common man. No, it's another ploy in the grand puppet show of financial charades. It's about keeping the money machine churning for the benefit of the few while handing the many a dangerous weapon they are unprepared to wield.

Cryptocurrencies are not some liberating financial revolution, they're a volatile, unregulated Wild West, with a few profiteering cowboys and a whole lot of innocent bystanders caught in the crossfire. And here's the FCA, the glorified casino bouncer, advising the gullible masses to play Russian roulette with their savings.

The FCA's half-assed approach, blocking crypto derivatives but allowing ETNs, is a masterstroke in inconsistency. It's like banning guns but allowing grenades. They're both weapons of financial destruction. So, why the selective gatekeeping? It's simple - the power players behind the system want a piece of the crypto pie, but they want to do it in a way that ensures their fingers aren't burnt.

Now, let's talk about the so-called "protection" for retail investors. What protection, you ask? Excellent question. Retail investors are getting the crumbs while the big tech and finance giants are feasting on the lion's share. Retail investors are being tossed into shark-infested waters while the FCA conveniently turns a blind eye.

The recent GameStop saga clearly showed how the system is stacked against retail investors. They're viewed as fodder, easy pickings for a system designed to keep them in their place while the big boys play. Yet, here we are, pretending that this sudden "freedom" to invest in crypto ETNs is a victory for the average Joe.

Don't be fooled. This is not democracy. This is not the leveling of the playing field. This is another sleight of hand in the rigged game of financial markets, where the house always wins and the gullible masses are left holding the bag.

The FCA lifting the ban on crypto ETNs is merely a sham. It’s a deceptive move to maintain an illusion of control and order in a financial world corrupted by greed, manipulation, and a beastly lust for power.

It's time to call out this farce for what it is. An unpardonable betrayal of public trust dressed up as financial liberation. The FCA isn’t here to protect you but to serve its masters. It's time to ask the hard questions and demand accountability.

Wake up, people. In this rigged financial circus, you're not the ringmaster, you're the clown. And it's high time you realised the joke's on you.